WP3 Draft

Older Audience Draft: An email write up of a patient's visit to a doctor, sent out to other doctors. 

Kaitlyn A. Pike, M.D.

Pacific Coast Electrodiagnostic Medicine

4587 Ocean Way, Suite 208

Valdez, Alaska 99686

Phone: 907-656-5558

Fax: 907-767-8436

Patient: Forest O’Kelp                                                                        Date: 08/31/2015

DOB: 11/21/1995

Referring Party: Carl Neptune, M.D. ________________________________________

HISTORY: The patient is a 19-year-old surfer. All his life, his brother, Otto O’Kelp, has assisted him until recently when Otto slipped in oil and had to be hospitalized for his injuries. Now on his own, he has fallen and suffered a leg injury after stepping on a poisonous sea urchin, which has stunted his growth. Dr. Neptune operated on his growth plate on 5/15/2015. The operative report is reviewed. Post operatively, possibly from the sea urchin, there appears to be damage his sciatic nerve. Dr. Neptune’s most recent re-evaluation from 08/25/2015 is reviewed and the patient is here today for my examination and testing.

For further medical history, complete symptom list and medications taken, I refer to the comprehensive patient intake form that is filled out and signed by the patient.

FAMILY HISTORY: Does not contribute to patient’s reason for visit.

REVIEW OF SYSTEMS: For patient drawing of areas of pain, please refer to the intake form. Also, he has pain in the upper left buttock region. Currently, he also has pain radiating down his left leg. The patient reports no symptoms on the right side. When asked if symptoms are improving, getting worse, or staying the same, he thinks that they have gotten significantly worse in recent weeks.

OBJECTIVE: After a quick examination, I determine him to be a smart and athletic young man. He is six feet, three inches tall, with the left leg appearing to be one to two inches shorter than the right leg.

All dorsal and lumbar nerves are intact.

There is no evidence of atrophy of the lower extremities or buttocks region.

Range of motion at the hip is painful, and there is obvious swelling at the lower back on the left side.

He is very tender over the fifth lumbar vertebral body.

All major muscles are intact.

NERVE CONDUCTION STUDY:

IMPRESSION: This is an abnormal study.

1.     The patient has severe damage to the sciatic nerve caused by a spinal disc herniation, most likely due to the fall. More work must be done on the patient to determine the exact location of the herniated disk, though most likely it is between the fourth and fifth lumbar vertebral bodies.

2.     The lack of growth in the patient’s leg is the more pressing issue. Unfortunately, without his brother’s help, the patient may suffer another injury that could further damage the growth plate.

3.     The sciatic nerve damage is isolated, and may or may not have been caused by the poisonous sea urchin – further tests must be performed to determine if there will be lasting damage.

After all testing and observation was completed, I discussed my impressions with the patient and communicated the worries I had about his situation. All of his questions were answered.

Kaitlyn A. Pike, M.D.

Kaitlyn Ann Pike MD

cc. Carl Neptune, M.D. 2936 De La Vina, 1^st Floor, Santa Barbara, CA 93105. UCSB, Student Health Services, Physical Therapy, Susan/Andrea, University of California, Santa Barbara, CA 93106

Younger Audience Draft: an in class worksheet for kids in 4-5th grade about business terms

Business Animals!

Pretend that a new friend, Jack, has a cool new Pokémon card that you really, really want. You just got allowance for cleaning your room this week, so you offer to buy Jack’s Pokémon card. If Jack agrees to let you buy it, this is what businessmen call an acquisition. Everyone is happy in an acquisition, both business agree to the terms and leave with something they want.

But what if Jack doesn’t want to sell you his card? Even if you beg him and ask super nicely, Jack still says no. You want the card so badly that you start to bully Jack and eventually pressure him to sell his card and throw your money at him. You guys aren’t friends anymore, but you have a new Pokémon card and Jack has your money. This is called a “hostile” takeover, and it’s when one company bullies another company into agreeing to the deal and it is not very nice.

Now that you’re familiar with these two new terms, let’s look at another, more business related example!

In a city in Alaska there were two companies. The local otter family ran one of the businesses. They were very big and successful, and they made a lot of money. The boss, Mr. Oscar Otter, walks into a store one day that is owned by the Kelly’s, which were a family of kelp plants! Mr. Oscar really likes Mrs. Kelly Kelp’s business and offers to give her money so she can continue to grow. In this acquisition, Mr. Oscar and Mrs. Kelly both get something they want and they work together peacefully!

One day, a new, even richer and bigger boss comes in. His name is Mr. Valdez. He doesn’t care about making anybody happy but himself. So he comes in and bullies Mr. Oscar into accepting a deal. The deal was that Mr. Oscar has to leave town and sell his part of Mrs. Kelly’s company to Mr. Valdez.

Mr. Valdez sent in his minion sea urchin workers to start taking over the stores that Mrs. Kelly used to run! Mrs. Kelly worked really hard to stay in business, and ten years later Mr. Oscar is still gone. While she is still working to keep her business running, the sea urchins are looking to move in at the first opportunity! Mrs. Kelly really wishes that Mr. Oscar will come back and help fight back against the sea urchins!

Answer these questions on a separate sheet of paper!

Definitions

1.     What is an acquisition?

2.    What is a “hostile” takeover?

Comprehension Questions

3.    How could you have figured out that Mr. Oscar acquired Mrs. Kelly’s business? What clues in the story tell you?

4.    What would you call the interaction between Mr. Valdez’s company and Mr. Oscar’s company? How do you know?

Free Writing

5.    Do you think Mrs. Kelly can keep Mr. Valdez from taking over her company? What do you think Mr. Oscar would say about Mr. Valdez’s sea urchin workers treating Mrs. Kelly so meanly?

  My really really REALY rough draft on my self analysis: 

            Older: Intended audience was doctors, physical therapists, and other occupations in medicine. I tailored my intended audience by presenting some of the article’s information in a report of a patient’s visit. I tried to incorporate aspects of the ecology aspect of the article into medical terms like when I talked about Forest O’Kelp’s growth plate being broken after a fall caused by stepping on a sea urchin. I kept the tone simple and to the point because it was a write up of a medical test and doctor’s visit. There’s not room for flourishes here because the other doctors want to know the results and what I (the doctor) thought.

            Younger: I chose to do an educational worksheet handout that elementary school kids in 4-5^th grade would receive in class. Its purpose is to teach the kids about two types of ways that businesses come together. As an example, I made the otters, the kelp, and the sea urchins into bosses of businesses that go through a series of interactions. Using key words and bolding, I bring attention to important details that relate directly back to the simple example definitions in the beginning of the worksheet. (personal note) I want to try to go back and give the worksheet a double meaning type of thing, where it teaches new business terms, but also shows that kelp and otters have a very close relationship and that the otters keep the kelp from being overtaken by the sea urchins.